this inner battle (i can't fight it)
by V. Sourweather
Summary: Charlie and Bill will see their sister again - no matter what it takes. [Voldemort Wins!AU]


_Summary:__ Charlie and Bill will see their sister again - no matter what it takes._

_Rating:__ T_

_Warnings:__ AU (Voldemort wins), capture and references to character deaths_

_Disclaimer:__ I don't own anything, and everything belongs to J.K. Rowling. I don't make any money out of this story._

_.:._

_Written for:_

_**[IWSC - Round 10]**_

_**School:**__ Durmstrang_

_**Year: **__7_

_**Theme: **__Write about a duo that uses brute force to get what they want._

_**Prompts: **__[main]__ (character) Charlie Weasley_

_[additional]__ (dialogue) "Scared?" said (person one). "You wish." said (person two)._

_(action) flying_

_**[HSWW]**__ Assignment #10: Alchemy: Magnum Opus__ / Task #3 - Write about a character facing something traumatic_

_Word count (without the A/N): 3,458 words_

* * *

_**this inner battle (i can't fight it): **_**Bill Weasley and Charlie Weasley**

He couldn't fight it anymore. If there was one thing he was sure of, it was this. He had tried for so long to just… be better and do his best to honour his promise to his lost family members, but now he couldn't take it anymore.

"Charlie?" his older brother asked him from outside the tent. "What's that I just heard?"

He stared at what he had just done. He had just made a mess of his tent, and he couldn't even bring himself to regret it.

When his brother entered the tent, he looked around him with a frown. He was aware that his eldest brother thought it wouldn't do him any good to use violence, but he needed to break something after what had just happened.

He remembered then. A few hours earlier, he had gone to the Order meeting (what was left of it anyway), and he had seen Bill and the others standing there with impossibly grim looks on their faces. He had tried to pretend it _wasn't_ what he believed it actually was, but it was all in vain. And when his older brother had come to him at the end of the meeting, he had already known, deep down, that he wouldn't like what he was going to tell him. But he'd never, _never_, expected it to be Ginny. His strong, fierce little sister couldn't be… gone.

He had always considered her stronger than the rest of them, even if she denied it again and again. The only time he had seen her break down was in front of her father's body, and he had held her close then, tears streaming down his cheeks as well. But after that fateful moment, she had used her pain well, unlike his mother, Bill, Percy and himself, and had turned it into strength, and he had admired her for that.

But it didn't matter anymore. She had been taken during one fateful mission. The few surviving members of the Order all knew what it meant. They probably never would see her again.

After all the loss he had already endured, he wasn't sure he would be able to take it. And here he stood, in the middle of his tent, staring at the mess he had made.

"It's nothing," he finally uttered in response to his brother's question.

He wished he wouldn't, but a few seconds later, Bill was stepping into the tent and staring in horror at the broken objects lying on the floor.

"Charlie…" Bill whispered. "What have you done?"

"You should join me," Charlie told him. "You'll see, it all feels better to break things."

"I know how you feel, Charlie. But this isn't the way to fix everything."

"Then what is?" he shouted before he could control himself. "What is the way to fix everything? What is the way to bring her back? To bring them all back?" His brother stayed silent, and he continued, "There is no way to bring them back, so it's better if I try and forget everything. And what better way to do it than… this?"

Bill watched him intently for a few seconds, and he finally whispered, "Do you even hear yourself, brother? You're not the only one who lost her, and Mum, and Dad, and Ron, and Fred and George, and Percy. _I_ lost them too! We're the only ones left in our family, and do you see _me_ doing what _you're_ doing?"

"That's not the same thing, Bill. You've always been stronger than me. All of you."

"By Merlin, how can you be so stubborn?" his older brother suddenly snapped. "I'm not stronger than you are, I hide my pain better. It's as simple as that, really."

He could understand Bill's point, he really could. But he still wasn't sure that it could excuse anything he had done, especially when he had always reacted better to losing people than Charlie had.

He looked around him and picked up the lamp that he had thrown on the floor just a little earlier, careful not to cut his fingers on the shards of glass.

"It's been one day only, Charlie," Bill suddenly continued, after sitting on one of the two mattresses. "It's been one day, and… We already know where she is held prisoner."

At that, Charlie's head snapped up, and he stared at his brother, at a loss for words. He had been here, by his side, for five minutes, and he only told him about Ginny _now_?

"Where?" he seethed (even though he knew he shouldn't, because it wasn't his brother's fault at all).

"I'm not sure…"

"I am not waiting here for you to bring her back! Not knowing is the worst, and I'll hate standing here by myself while you are out there, fighting for her. So I won't wait here." He waited a few seconds before continuing, "I'm sorry, but I'm not that strong."

Bill stared at him and then told him, "Malfoy Manor. We'll have to fly there, take them by surprise and all. It won't work if we Disapparate, with all the systems they enforced since _he_ won. That's what McGonagall said when she gave the mission, and I know you'll be happy about this, right? It's always done you good to fly. Suppresses your anger or something."

A bitter smile painted itself upon his lips. He was sure Professor McGonagall wouldn't agree on his participation. He would have received a note to invite him to the meeting otherwise. But Bill was his brother, and as always, he wouldn't leave him behind. Even though Charlie was sure he knew he should this time.

His anger, his state of mind after his sister's kidnapping… It could endanger them all. That was probably why he hadn't received any news about the meeting from his former Head of House.

But still, he took off after his brother, and when he grabbed his broomstick in his hand, he sighed internally with relief. Perhaps his brother was right, perhaps flying would calm him down enough to not act foolishly once on the ground, in Malfoy Manor.

Just as they were about to take off, Hestia Jones and Kingsley Shacklebolt at their side (and if they were surprised to see him, they hid it well enough), he heard someone exclaim behind them, "Weasley!"

They all stopped and turned towards Professor McGonagall, who looked positively enraged. She was stomping towards them, her eyes narrowed and her lips tightening into a thin line.

Bill and Charlie exchanged a quick, nervous glance before the latter answered, "Yes, Minerva?"

"What are you doing here, Charlie?" she asked him, crossing her arms over her chest (and even he had to admit, she was quite the intimidating person). "You weren't supposed to tell him about this, Bill. I know you can do it, but really, he cannot. Not without endangering your partners. No offense, Charlie."

"Ginny's my sister, Minerva. If you think I'm going to stand back while Bill, who is also her brother, by the way, is fighting to get her back… You're wrong."

"Bill knows how to contain his anger. He always has, even when he lost… everyone else. I don't think you can say the same about yourself."

He took a sharp breath. She was right, of course she was, but maybe they could find a way around the problem of their partners. He looked at his brother, who nodded once and offered to Professor McGonagall, "Hestia and Kingsley could stay here. Charlie wouldn't take the risk of endangering me."

"And you'll be on your own to rescue your sister? You are aware that she could be dead by the time you arrive there, right?" Professor McGonagall asked tensely.

At this idea, Charlie's throat tightened. Not another member of his family dead. _Please, don't let her be dead_, he begged to whoever would answer his prayer. He wasn't sure if there was a God out there that could, but maybe someone else would hear him.

"I'm sure I can manage, Minerva," he told her, but doubt still wormed its way into his mind.

She seemed doubtful as well, but under their intent gaze, she finally lowered her head and uncrossed her arms, sighing. "I hope I won't regret this. Hestia, Kingsley… Go back into your tents, please."

They seemed surprised at her order, but they turned towards the two younger men and Kingsley half-smiled, "Don't do anything stupid. And I'm talking to the both of you."

"What he said," Hestia added. "We would miss you if you didn't come back. Just as we miss your sister. So please… Bring her back to us."

They both nodded, and Hestia and Kingsley bade them farewell before quickly hurrying off, back to their rustic homes. Minerva just stood there, watching them a little longer, before she said tensely, "Don't make me regret my decision, Charlie."

She walked off before he could promise he wouldn't, but he clearly saw her tense shoulders and her head lowered in defeat. It was like she already knew that it wouldn't end well, and he wondered if Professor Trelawney had seen something and told her about it. He tried to shake his worry off though, and climbed on his broom.

He was expecting his worry and his doubt to vanish while he flew, banished by the wind flowing around his head and tousling his red hair, but they didn't. On the contrary, the closer they came to Malfoy Manor, the more worried and doubtful he became.

He didn't share it with his brother though. He probably felt the same way.

He soon realized, however, that he couldn't fight against his inner troubling thoughts… let alone make them go away. He quickly flew towards the ground and once he set foot on it, he let out the breath he didn't even know he was holding.

"Charlie?" he heard his brother call behind him, and he half-turned towards him. "I thought…"

"It doesn't work today. Flying, I mean. I'm still impossibly worried and angry. I'm so angry, Bill. All the time. Against everyone, and worst of all, against myself. It's like it's eating away at me, and this inner battle… I'm sorry, but I can't fight it."

"That's because the wound is still fresh, Charlie," his brother tried to reassure him. "Ginny was kidnapped only yesterday, and I know you thought you wouldn't see her ever again. Everyone did, even Fleur, and we both know she's the optimistic one among us. And after everyone we've lost… Mum, Dad, our brothers… I can understand why you're so angry at the world." He paused then, and continued with hope filling his voice, "But today, we have a chance to get her back. And we will. Whatever it takes."

"Whatever it takes?" he repeated. "Do I have to remind you that you're not the violent one between the both of us?"

"I only mean… If anyone or anything comes between me and her, I'll do whatever it takes to get them out of the way."

And the fire that shone in his brother's blue eyes convinced Charlie that he was telling him the truth, so he nodded shortly and tried to talk himself out of his doubt. And when he felt the wind and the cold seeping through his skin as he flew up in the air once again, he did feel better.

* * *

When they finally landed on the cold ground near Malfoy Manor, they were surprised to find out that there were no guards before the entrance.

They glanced at each other and saw in each other's eyes that they had come to the same conclusion: they were all inside. And so when they came closer to the manor, they held their wands at the ready.

Anger coursed through Charlie's veins again as they slowly stepped closer to the intimidating portal. And it wasn't just an everyday type of anger, it was a hot, scorching, raging anger that burned through his veins and made him want to charge at the gate. He had worked for most of his adult life with dragons, and he could take a few Death Eaters if it meant being with his little sister again! But he knew exactly where this line of thinking would lead him, so he held his wand more tightly in his hand and instead promised himself that he would do what Bill had said before. He would find her again, no matter what it took.

As he raised his wand to quietly unlock the gate with a simple _Alohomora_ (maybe it wouldn't work; deep down, he _hoped_ it wouldn't work so they could make a grand entrance by blasting the door off its hinges), he heard his brother call out for him in a hushed voice.

He turned towards him and raised one eyebrow, wondering what his older brother could want.

"Scared?" said Bill.

"You wish," said Charlie.

And everything in him hoped that his brother would actually believe him. Because he _was_ scared. If not for himself, for the remaining two members of his family.

When he tried to quietly unlock the door with the simple spell and it didn't work, a cold smile etched itself upon his lips. And he blasted it off its hinges, not caring that Bill, right behind him, took a sharp breath as he heard the booming noise.

He should definitely work on his definition of taking people by surprise, but at least now they'd be able to _fight_ to get their sister back. Because he needed a fight.

He didn't hear anything though and he frowned. Why didn't someone attack him? It was obvious they were the enemy, and it still felt like no one was there.

When he unlocked the door of the manor more carefully with a simple _Alohomora_ spell, he was ready to fight back, and as they both stepped into the hall it filled with light. Blinding, scorching light.

The next thing he knew, someone was throwing a curse at him, and he barely had enough time to duck out of the way. He tensed when Bill was the one who cast a spell next, endangering himself for his brother (because of course he would, it had always been that way between the two siblings).

The person who had thrown the Cruciatus curse at him rose, and he tensed when he saw Rodolphus Lestrange. He barely noticed that Rabastan Lestrange rose behind his brother, because _Rodolphus Lestrange had been the one to kill his mother_. He felt rage coursing through his veins again, but when he threw a quick glance behind him towards his brother, he saw him staring ahead at the two Death Eaters with a mask of indifference on his face.

Bill apparently noticed his gaze on him, and they exchanged a look that only said, _Whatever it takes_. And when Charlie focused on his enemies again, he had reigned in his anger and calm was the only thing in his mind. Brute force would certainly surprise them coming from the both of them, but if that was what it took to have Ginny back…

He held his wand at the ready, and he noticed the cruel smile on the older Lestrange brother's face. He knew… He knew who he was and what he had done to his family, and he wasn't afraid! He mimicked his smirk with one of his own and threw the first spell right at him.

"_Stupefy!_" he exclaimed, and his opponent countered the spell so easily that it was almost ridiculous.

Lestrange sneered at him and threw a Cruciatus curse towards him, which he dodged easily enough as well. Of course the Death Eaters were going to be more offensive. But when he heard his brother shout _Confringo_ behind him, sending flames leap towards the stairs on which their enemies stood, he understood that brute force would definitely be the solution.

And he didn't hesitate. As the two Death Eaters stepped away from the flames, he whispered, "_Sectumsempra._" One of the spells that Harry taught him before he died on that fateful night of May, 1998. One of the most terrible spells that he knew. And as the oldest Lestrange brother fell on the ground, bleeding welts covering his body, all Charlie could feel was relief and satisfaction, because finally, _finally_, he had avenged his mother.

He didn't realize more opponents were circling them before he looked up to see Lucius Malfoy, a disgusted sneer on his face as he considered his ally bleeding on the stairs of his manor. But when the older man turned towards him, the disgust vanished from his eyes, only to be replaced with icy determination.

Before he could utter a spell though, Charlie simply said, "_Expelliarmus!_" The wand didn't fly out of Malfoy's hand though, as he had dodged out of the way of the curse. And when Charlie understood, looking in his distant, icy grey eyes, that he wouldn't hesitate to kill him, he fought back. He hadn't believed he had it in him to do it until now, but he threw offensive curses after offensive curses. He even uttered, once, a Cruciatus curse, reminding himself that brute force was the only way the three of them were getting out of there alive.

And he and Bill fought, and fought, and fought, until finally, all their opponents were lying on the ground. None of them were dead; they didn't really have it in them to kill someone. But when they looked at their surroundings, they saw the manor was completely damaged by their curses, and those of their opponents too, perhaps. Really, using that many of _Confringo_ and _Inciendo_ and _Bombarda_ spells didn't do good to the mansion!

When they walked down the stairs leading to the basement, they held their breath and suddenly, they saw their sister, chained down on the ground. She was _there_, and she harbored a bloodied cheek, and what they could see of her body was covered in raw scars, but she was _there_! And it was more than he would have hoped for.

She smiled bitterly when she saw them, and she uttered, "Took you long enough."

He was surprised that she could still find the strength to speak and smile, but he pushed his shock back and untied the chains that held her down. She stood up with some difficulty and staggered on her feet, but when he told her that they needed to get on _now_, she nodded and focused on her feet, placing them carefully one in front of the other.

Surprisingly enough, they didn't have to fight their way out of the manor, as every single Death Eater they had previously knocked out was still… well, _out_. But maybe it was better this way. Now that they had gotten her back, they wouldn't have the same motive to fight them—they wouldn't use the same brute force that they had for fear of inadvertently hurting her…

"How much farther is it?" she asked quietly, her jaws clenching under the effort as she leaned onto him for more support.

"It's just out of the manor. Just a little farther. Hold on just a little longer," Bill encouraged her in a hushed voice, his wand at the ready.

And she did, and when they flew back to their camp, the wind that tousled his hair and bit his face was nothing but comforting. Ginny was there, right behind him and still holding on to him, and suddenly, it all came back to him. Why he loved flying so much. It wasn't just because he felt the wind bite into his cheeks, which made all this troubles go away. It was more about the fact that he felt free. Free to fight the battles he wanted to fight, free to do whatever he wanted to do… Just free.

He heard his sister sigh behind him as they touched the ground in their rustic camp, and he smiled when Hestia Jones practically ran towards them, a bright smile on her face.

"I missed you," she whispered to Ginny, putting a hand on her shoulder.

She was far older than the eighteen-year-old girl, but there was something deeper between them than the friendship Ginny had with most of the girls her age.

"I know," Ginny said, smiling brightly at her friend. The next words she uttered, however, were only meant for her brothers, "And I'm aware it must have felt horrible, me disappearing like this… But I know things will be alright in the end."

And for the first time since his parents and his brothers died, he really felt hope surge inside of him, only ignited by her words.

* * *

_Also written for:_

_**[HSWW] **__Yearly Events:_

_365 Prompts: 43. Brother_

_Insane Prompt Challenge: 880. (genre) family_

_**[HSWW] **__Seasonal Challenges (Spring)_

_Days of the Year: 4th May (Bird Day) - Write about someone who loves flying_

_Seasonal Challenge - Spring Challenge: 8. (word) fresh_

_Amanda's Challenge: Pairing #7 (Klaus/Diego) - Write about siblings_

_**[HSWW]**__ Writing Club (May)_

_Disney Challenge (Mulan): Theme #1 - Family: Write a fic in the family genre_

_Showtime (Bonnie and Clyde): 17. Dyin' Ain't So Bad - (dialogue) "I'm sorry, but I'm not that strong."_

_Amber's Attic: Prompt #11 - (relationship) siblings_

_Liza's Lyrics (Boybands): 4. Five, Keep On Movin' - "But I know things will be alright in the end."_

_Film Festival: 27. (dialogue) "I missed you."_

_**[HSWW] **__Magic Kingdom_

_Take a ride on the wild side - 6. Dumbo The Flying Elephant: (action) flying_

_**[HSWW] **__The Brand Wars II_

_Rocket Raccoon: (genre) angst, (emotion) angry, (title) this inner battle (i can't fight it)_


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